Movie Review: Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

It's 5 years after the massacre at Camp Crystal Lake when Mrs. Voorhees lost her head, and quite literally too, and murdered a group of counselors trying to re-open the summer camp where her son Jason died by drowning over 20 years previously. Or did he?

A new group of counselors is setting up shop at the summer camp next door to the now mythical Camp Blood. Campfire tales abound about what happened to young Jason as his body was apparently never found, and what he might be like if he did survive. Well questions will be answered as someone is stalking the counselors.

Released just short of a year after the first Friday the 13th movie and several months before Halloween 2, they were in a hurry to take advantage of not only the success of the first film but also the burgeoning slasher craze they set off. Amazingly with that short of a turnaround they aren't lacking anything in this follow up.

In an unusual twist in sequels, this is actually better than the first film. Right off the bat what it has going for it is a more threatening killer. Mrs. Voorhees was just too ridiculous of a killer in the first one to believe she did all of that. The Jason character is a natural extension of the first film and bringing him into the series kicks off a litany of sequels for which this film is responsible.

Part 2 connects with the viewer more in not only having some actual characters on screen compared to the cardboard cutouts they used in the first film but in working more of the summer camp experience into the story. The campfire story, swimming at the beach and a hike through the woods are just some of the story elements that will strike a chord with anyone who as been to summer camp. Many of the elements that became staples with the rest of the sequels including the late night skinny dip are here as well.

And as I mentioned, the more threatening presence that Jason is. Early on he stalks, like any good psycho/slasher kinda guy does (it's in the rulebook), but is not fully revealed in costume until later. But the moment Jason is shown in full attire, mask included, is an unforgettable and scream inducing moment.

Better characters, more tension, more connection with the audience, a more threatening killer, and arm clenching scare scenes make for an all around better movie and one of the more, if not the most, influential slasher films on future slashers to be made.

I do recommend this film.

Get Friday the 13th Part 2 on DVD, Blu-ray or Instant Video

Check out: That Handheld Game in Friday the 13th Part 2

Movie Review: First Family (1980)

Who says you have to be competent to be President of the United States? Well certainly nobody today. Perhaps the only job with fewer qualifications than being a movie reviewer.

On any average day President Link has to deal with the First Lady's drinking problem and his 28 year old sex-starved daughter's attempts to get laid while chasing White House staffers. The Unites States and other countries are courting an African country's vote in the UN, but Link has the advantage that the one person who can speak the language is a professor in the United States who is promptly 'volunteered' into the service of the White House. But something is up as the President has a secret meeting (not so fictional any more) with the African country's leader, with a negotiation that could make him a hero or a scoundrel.

What do you get when you combine the talents of Bob Newhart, Harvey Korman, Gilda Radner, Madeline Kahn, Austin Pendleton, Richard Benjamin, Rip Torn and Fred Willard into a movie written and directed by Buck Henry? Apparently confused.

For sure there are funny moments and a semblance of a plot, but ultimately no real idea where it's wanting to go. The final act in this seems like an afterthought, and after some reading up on it, it was as the studio, and test audience, was not happy with the original ending.

It's 1980 and absurdist racial humor abounds in this as the focus of the plot is on a fictional African country. It's very much 1970s era Saturday Night Live in its attempts at mocking social attitudes toward race, well intentioned it may have been, with a misfire at socially conscious humor that today just comes off as racist.

I cannot give it a recommendation. If I were scoring it I would give it a 2 1/2 out of 5. There's entertainment to be found.. if you have nothing better to do.

I had originally intended this as a Movie Night post with a link to the movie. In writing an intro I got carried away and wrote a review. You can stream this from Internet Archive here. If you would prefer to download it, here is a direct link to the mp4 file (597mb).

Movie Review: Hitch-Hike (1977)

A bickering Italian couple on vacation in the Southwestern United States gains an unwanted traveling companion in a bank robber carrying two million dollars.

No. I kid you not. That is the plot. Dragged out for over an hour and forty minutes of unrelenting tedium.

The core of the problem with Hitch-Hike is no characters the audience can give a damn about. Franco Nero (Django) is hateful as the husband while Corinne Cléry (Moonraker) as the wife is long-suffering but ultimately brings nothing sympathetic to this pairing that has all the chemistry of Frankenstein's monster and his bride. Add David Hess bringing all the charm of his Krug character from the crassic and overrated Last House on the Left to this mix and a seemingly unending, droll road trip and it begs for screaming "are we there yet?" at the screen voluminously.

The actors is ths do a fine job and the direction does not linger, but unfortunately this story with no destination does. It's 100 minutes of unpleasant characters, and 80 minutes past the point I just wished they would all die.

Just in case I need to say it, I do not recommend this movie.

You can get Hitch-Hike on DVD or Blu-ray on Amazon

Movie Review: Your Highness (2011)

Fabious and Thadeous are two princely brothers in a world of swords and sorcery. With the abduction of Fabious' bride to be by an evil wizard on their wedding day, the brothers must now quest together to rescue her. Along the way they will have to endure hideous monsters, each other and a litany of homophobic plot elements and bad sex jokes.

It's Lord of the Rings meets Animal House...

...it wishes.

Danny McBride, James Franco and Zooey Deschanel do not seem particularly out of place in this tasteless farce, but I can't help but wonder what Natalie Portman is doing hanging out in this low rent crowd. Did she lose a bet? 

Aside from Portman, Justin Theroux stands out in his performance as the evil wizard as do the actresses playing the three mothers, as well Toby Jones in a most unglamorous role but he pulls it off with gusto. Franco portrays his character as if he is stoned in every scene even though he only imbibes anything in one scene while McBride, whose character imbibes freely, plays it sober. McBride is also fully aware he is in a movie.

I was on the fence for a while about how to rate this. Between moments of morbidly unfunny sex jokes are some well done action scenes and even funny moments. The constant focus on genitalia keeps penetrating the dialogue, so to speak. But in the end, despite any strengths, what is most memorable about this is its failures.

If you are a 13 year old virgin, in other words you play Dungeons & Dragons, this might appeal to you. The constant sexual innuendo gets tiresome and the frequent homophobia lowers it past juvenile. I would also caution anyone who has been a victim of child molestation, or with whom that is a sore spot, to possibly avoid this film.

The balance tips just enough for me not to recommend this film. If I were scoring it, I would give it a 2.5 out of 5.

You can get this on Amazon.com in various formats.

Movie Review: Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks (1974)

Rowdy villagers attacking a giant neanderthal, a grave robbery and a kidnapped young woman, and there is a castle in the vicinity occupied by a Doctor Frankenstein. Do you suppose there is a connection? Well that is about as clear of a connection and plot as you will likely find in this inane film.

Starring horror movie regular Rossano Brazzi and veteran actor Edmund Purdom, no stranger to horror movies himself, plus one of the more successful dwarf actors of the time, Michael Dunn whom you may remember as James West's nemesis  Dr. Loveless in The Wild Wild West TV series. Dunn is the outstanding performance in this as despite being a tepid and near plotless film he does give it his all with Brazzi handling his role with relative ease while Purdom appears to wish he were in another film. This was also one of Dunn's last films released the year after his untimely death at only the age of 38.

Compared to a Hammer outing this is a threadbare effort of set decoration with, I kid you not, a door as the setting for most of the town scenes and Frankenstein's lab looking more like a collection of fish bowls. The direction and camerawork are choppy trying to work around their limitations and not succeeding very well at that.

As an exploitation movie it is very limited in what it offers with a few scenes of naked women with little showing, not out of creative direction but more out of skittish direction. The pace of the film is static while if anything of interest did actually happen it must have been off camera. I can certainly understand why the director didn't even put his own name on this yawn fest.

I cannot recommend this (just in case you didn't get that from my review).

You can get this in an Elvira hosted version on Amazon or download or stream a non-hosted version for free from Archive.org.

Movie Review: Cannibal Farm (2017)

A family sets out to do some camping in the British countryside, and apparently mending their fractured relations as well. Some just can't let well enough alone as their RV is sabotaged and one of them is injured leaving them to trek to the nearest farm where, unknown to them, the inhabitants have a taste for tourists.

Kate Davies-Speak leads a mostly good cast, save for the overacting the audience is subjected to by the actor playing the farm family father, and he is quite prevalent on the screen; and the actor playing his nemesis might even be more over the top but thankfully he is not on the screen that much. Charlie Steeds as writer and director has succeeded in providing for the umpteenth time a movie we have seen before. To his and the cast and crew's credit it moves along at a pretty good pace and looks good too, but regrettably what you think is coming around every corner is exactly what is coming around the corner.

The acting, mostly, direction and art direction are all there, but the meat of it, if you'll pardon the pun, being much of anything original is lacking. For a horror geek or perhaps someone wanting an easy movie to watch for a lazy evening this might work for them. Unfortunately for someone looking for more, its redundancy and predictability fly in the face of that.

I cannot recommend this.

Get it on Amazon

Movie Review: The Glimmer Man (1996)

A serial killer has been on the prowl, leaving behind religious drawings on the walls of the crime scene. Investigating these crimes are Detective Campbell (Keenen Ivory Wayans) and his new partner Jack Cole (Steven Seagal), a man seemingly as mysterious as the serial killer they are looking for. The latest killings are not only markedly different but strike close to home for Jack Cole. Is someone from his past sending him a message?

There's nothing original about the plot of a Seagal film, and The Glimmer Man is no different in that respect, but where this movie diverts from the traditional Steven Seagal movie in the pairing of Seagal and Wayans as a team is its strength. In an interesting contrast, from what one would probably expect with this pairing, is having Wayans playing the straight man while Seagal plays the funny man. Unlike the usual Arnold Swartzenwhatever film where the jokes usually end up on the floor with the bad guys, Seagal is quite funny in this role, though he doesn't specifically play it for laughs as the film does have its dark side and violence.

The Glimmer Man has the usual Seagal plot with loads of action to go with it but its charisma and humor with the pairing of Seagal and Wayans make it one of the better of these films and perhaps the most fun of any of them.

I give it a recommendation.

Get it on Amazon